How do women and queer travellers initiate cross-cultural social connection abroad?

Everywhere Harry goes, he connects with men of all ages and backgrounds through football. What is the equivalent for women, queer, and non-binary travellers?

“Where are you from?” shouts the street food vendor over the sound of the market.

“I’m from Great Britain… England!” he says quickly, when the two men behind the cart are slow to respond.

“Ah… England!” says the one not tending to the frying dough balls.

“Do you support football?” he asks. “Who’s your team?”

“Aston Villa,” says Harry, “Who’s yours?”

“Zamalek,” says the man. “Egyptian team!”

This exchange – light football chat – happens over and over again in the travel vlog called Rawdogging the Scam Capital of the World. (I know)

In another note I reflect on how football chat reminds me of a kind of weather small talk that serves as a social ice-breaker for male travellers.

It seems like football is a great connector for men, whatever their nationality or values. Differences are expressed in good spirit, and plenty of opportunities are created to keep talking and get to know each other better.

As a woman, or more specifically, someone who doesn’t quite understand the passion behind it, football small talk doesn’t really feel like an option for me.

This makes me wonder – how do female travellers and anthropologists connect with locals, without fixers or tour guides – and beyond topics that don’t involve parenting, family or caretaking? In the west, most women become consumed by family life after a certain age, so maybe I’m assuming this traditional way of life for women is happening all over the world.

But maybe football talk is just being friendly. Maybe there are a million other things to talk about that can signal friendliness (like the weather) and create opportunities for further exchange.

Whenever I’m friendly to men I haven’t met or have an understanding with, I can’t help but wonder if my friendliness is being misinterpreted.

These, I think, are the scars of my own culture.

Still, I wonder: If I were to travel to Egypt and show genuine curiosity in a street vendor’s dough balls (not those), can I make a friend who would let me see into his way of life?

Women, queer, and non-gendered travellers and anthropologists – how do you navigate access to new social spaces? What’s your universal small talk?